Someone has just brought up the subject of money. They’ve asked you how much you earn and you feel the uneasy discomfort of the ‘money taboo’ set in. But why? The taboo on talking about money began hundreds of years ago, in a time where a person’s wealth directly correlated with the number of possessions they had. These days most people are still deeply uncomfortable talking about money. In fact, 87% of the British public say they would feel uncomfortable if someone asked them what they earnt and 45% of American women wouldn’t even discuss their finances with a friend.

When speaking to women about the money taboo, there is the overwhelming feeling that it comes from a place of shame; shame that they’re earning too much, or shame that they’re not earning enough. This shame may be because of past money traumas, or from a childhood where scarcity consciousness was reinforced. Wherever the money taboo stems from it needs to be broken. Money is not a dirty word and it certainly isn’t vulgar to discuss your finances. On the contrary, talking about money can actually help you to get ahead financially! Here’s how…

Talking about money is uncomfortable for one main reason: it highlights where the inequalities are in society. For example, surrounding race, gender, or class. This is why we need to start talking loudly about money, to highlight where these issues are so that we can advocate for change. One key example is the pay gap still visible between men and women, with women in the USA only earning $0.81 to every $1 earned by a man. If women aren’t talking about money and asking men what they’re earning, then how can these inequalities ever be addressed? 

The money taboo also causes unnecessary tension among colleagues, friends, and family, where there are incorrect perceptions of what people earn. There may be tension at work because you believe your colleague earns more than you, or you might feel hurt when you forget your wallet and your ‘wealthy’ friend doesn’t front the bill. Without talking about money, you never really know what the real story is. Try to open up a frank, helpful conversation about money and in the process perhaps you’ll find someone you can turn to for money advice. Remember you’re only ever a question away…

Ever wondered why you follow the ‘money taboo’? Perhaps you have a negative perception of money from past money traumas or as a result of a scarcity mindset? Many people feel ashamed of the finances, whether it’s guilt for having more than others around you, or embarrassment for living from paycheck to paycheck. The first thing to do is to stop associating your wealth with what you are worth as a person. Just because you earn less than someone else doesn’t mean that your value is also lower. The money taboo promotes this negative perception of money which can then subconsciously block wealth coming to you. The money taboo promotes this negative perception of money which can then subconsciously block wealth coming to you. 

I used to have these negative perceptions surrounding money too. For example, I believed that money was only valuable if I earned it myself. This meant that if I was ever gifted money, I considered that money to be bad. By believing this, I was then blocking myself from attracting any potential wealth. Be open to the fact that money can come to you in many ways (maybe even the lottery!) and that you should be ready to receive it in whichever way it chooses to come. 

The money taboo can even go as far as not wanting to discuss money with partners or spouses. So much so, that according to a survey conducted by Policygenius, over a third of participants didn’t know their partner’s salary! This feeling of shame surrounding money can lead people to be secretive about their wealth, or hide financial worries. It’s good to keep in mind that financial strain can be detrimental to a relationship, so keep talking about money with your partner to avoid long term damage. Not only is it beneficial for your personal relationship together, building a sense of trust, but it’s beneficial to know you’re on the same page with financial goals. Better yet, you can plan together for savings and future investments. 

By breaking the money taboo, and talking honestly about your finances, you can inspire others around you to also talk openly.

You may have friends secretly struggling with money worries or a partner that doesn’t know how to invest in the future. Having honest conversations will allow you to help them out with your own advice and experiences or vice-versa. For example, your friend from work might have great tips on how to budget or might know a particularly good savings account or ISA. Starting a financial dialogue with the community around you ensures you don’t feel alone or anxious when it comes to money. 

Think back to your childhood. Do you remember hearing your parents talking about a lack of money? Did you often hear the phrase ‘money doesn’t grow on trees’?

This is part of a scarcity mindset: the belief that there isn’t enough for everyone to be wealthy or successful. This plays into the money taboo and may have caused your feelings of discomfort surrounding money. So, how can you fix this? Keep talking about money! Especially with children, start to talk about money in a positive way from an early age to encourage a healthy money mindset.

Tip: Speaking with a friend, she told me that she finds it incredibly awkward when people act as if they are a victim in their financial situation. This is another reason that the money taboo continues to thrive. To break the money taboo, talk about money in a positive way, and always be grateful for what you do have, rather than focusing on what you don’t. In doing this, your peers will learn that it is possible to talk about money in a healthy way.

Interested to learn more about breaking down the money taboo? Ask for help from a professional money coach to help you work on:

1. Your money mindset

2. Growing your business

3. Attracting the wealth that you deserve